The irony in this is that initially you’re so keen to know what’s behind their suspicious antics until you find out and that’s when you wish you never knew what you already know now.
This is especially true when you discover that your partner has been cheating on you. You’re never prepared for this kind of pain, it reaps you from the core.
You only wish he could save all that’s falling apart by convincing you once more that you’re his soulmate, whom he would give anything to spend the rest of his life with and actually mean it.
When we enter into relationships, we entrust our partners with our hearts. We let them close enough to witness us even at our worst because we think of them as different. So when they cross that line it is very devastating. Having gone through all of this myself, here are helpful lessons.
You might want to know the extent of his infidelity. If there’s any conscience left in him, he’ll know that he owes you that much. (Caution: prepare yourself for the BRUTAL truth) It definitely won’t be a pleasant one. (Sidenote: Is it not funny that we expect to gather truth where it was never met before?) How gullible, but then we go right ahead and give them the benefit of a doubt.
After the confession you don’t need him around to confuse you any further. Take time out, of cause you will keep your hands clean and won’t get even with him because you’re a lady like that. You’re only going to use this time to process everything and figure it out on your own. Can you really claim to know exactly what someone’s intentions are? Those are a mystery to us. Therefore, you might never get to the conclusion why they did it and it is okay.
Being cheated on is extremely painful and you’re going to go through the motions all at once. Allow yourself to feel and don’t block it out; cry and cry harder. You’ll feel better with every episode.
Don’t let it consume all your time, 24/7. Find distractions and do things that empower you as an individual. Self-empowerment is bound to make you feel good about yourself. I know that pain always prompts me to do even better. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked back after and said “but how did I do that?” and I genuinely believe had it not been for the trial, I never would have been able to make it.
Come to terms with your reality
You can’t be in denial forever. After you’ve had time to think in between working on yourself, exercising etc. It is time to decide what will be your next move. Are you going to pick up the pieces and mend things? Does he deserve another chance? Only you know your love story and can weigh in on it sufficiently. No one can make that decision for you.
Getting to the point where you’ll understand that you’ll have to forgive even before you endeavor into it is a process on its own. But you’ll have to forgive the betrayal, disappointment, pain, the person who caused your distress but most of all forgive yourself. It’s easy to blame yourself, DO NOT! You weren’t foolish for granting love a chance. Understand that his behavior was immature and it was only to satisfy his own selfish drives.
Parting ways with the person you love is not easy, it certainly leaves you folded.
You may grant someone a second chance but never accept cheating to be a norm. It is disrespectful!
I’m quite sure you’re tired of this one but I’ll give it to you once more. Even I grew tired of it but it doesn’t change it still remains. HEALING TAKES TIME! Be patient.
Love is beautiful with a partner who is worthy of it and I believe that you deserve the best of that love and it shall find you.❤️
NB: Noticed how I didn’t mention the other woman on here? It’s simple, you have no attachments with them whatsoever. The only person who owes you their integrity is the person you entered into a relationship with. Comparing, bashing and fighting the other woman won’t help you by no means.