It seems that the world has become just a little too tough lately. Instead of building meaningful relationships we are quick to cut people off, of which I’ve also been guilty of. It is easier rather to act like connections don’t matter, like we’re people who don’t feed of affection.
But is this really an ideal life for the majority?
No, I don’t think so. Actually I refuse to believe so because love is pleasant and why wouldn’t you want that for yourself?
I can guess. . .
It had all to do with the lies that posed as love. The promises that were never fulfilled. The plans that got cancelled. The care that overturned as recklessness. The unconditional that turned out to be conditional and the trust which equals now to crust.
Regardless, this doesn’t deny our innate desire for affection, it does not disappear simply because someone did not treat us right. We just resort to being tough so we can protect ourselves; it’s simply a form of defense mechanism that we take up.
I’d like to enlighten you about being tough in this context. Here’s how to know if you have fallen with the squad:
- You don’t need love, you say.
- You don’t empathize with others, as a matter of fact you don’t give a £#*€.
- You’re rather cold and don’t express much of your emotions or even worse you think they’re stupid.
- You barely bring yourself forth to ask for help because you count on acting tough even when you’re not.
- You’re in a constant war with the world and you’re never apologetic to those you hurt along the way.
Is this something you can identify with, perhaps? If you do I urge you to worry.
Because to be strong doesn’t require you to become any less of a decent person. No human should be dismissive of others’ feelings, even your own emotions are valid for that matter. Fighting doesn’t equal to power and not asking for help reflects many things but strength.
I know in a world that teaches us to be strong all the time, being vulnerable is not ideal. In most parts of our lives we’re required to be strong and that usually entails believing in your abilities, leaning on yourself for most parts of your life and depending on no one else for your happiness but yourself.
Even so it is not as perfect in reality and is definitely not supposed to. We don’t live in isolation, we might wish we did at times but the fact is we coexist together with others, which leads me to this – from time to time we will draw strength not only within ourselves but from others as well; our friends, family, love partners etcetera.
So does this strip us off our strength and independence? No. But it can certainly bring us to a place of discomfort, in which we grow. We learn the importance of being kind, loving, showing empathy and helping others because we’d have experienced compassion also.
Cultivating healthy relationships is just as important and it doesn’t equal to losing your independence or simply being weak. You’re going to be vulnerable in this life journey and it might just be necessary in order for you to form meaningful relationships. The affection that we desire should be something that we can reciprocate back too. You can always choose to close yourself in but a quote I came across read:
When you lock your heart away in a safe, no hurt gets in but no love gets in either.