First thing’s first, before you even begin to remove yourself from a dumpster, you’d better recognize that you’re in a dumpster.
I remember being caught up in this disheartening reality and I was greatly unhappy with myself. I was miserable because I wasn’t doing any of the things that I desperately longed for, my life was stagnant and my goals seemed far from reach.
Examining my surroundings, I was deep within what I never ever imagined would be my life, it was so surreal. In all senses, I gave meaning to hopelessness. But how did it get to this?
That was definitely not the question I was most concerned with. I was only desperate for deliverance, I thought to myself if realizing my purpose was something far-fetched then God had to help me to live with it.
From afar within, however, I could still feel the drive delicately burning as if it knew it was my only chance. And that was it, that meant I wasn’t about to give up for as long as I was gifted with the opportunity to be.
Be not afraid of walking slowly, be afraid only of standing still ~ Chinese Proverb
And so the journey begun . . .
Knowing yourself, as well as having the power to define that person is a distinct skill that can greatly influence your success in life. I was challenged with the task to peep into myself. Then, I came to realize that I was my own enemy. Subconsciously, I had created barriers for myself, which were preventing me to reach out to fulfillment. I needed to silence the critic in my head that would constantly remind me of how inadequate I was. My goals were well within reach, I was just not in tune with them because I lacked self-awareness .
You should always attempt to rise again and again. . . Persistence is key, it’s all about starting over and trying again. Life has challenges and you’ll certainly stumble upon them but never fall without putting up a fight. Nonetheless, if you do fall you know what’chu gotta do! Your approach here will be determined by your outlook on life, of cause. If you deem things to be the end for you, it will be just that. On the contrary if you see challenges as stepping stones then you’ve already won. Setbacks are there to sharpen our will-power so that we’re better prepared for the future.
The more gains you experience due to your efforts, the more likely you’ll exhibit that behavior,repeatedly. The gratification you experience from seeing results of your efforts is always motivating. Regardless of how big or small the rewards are, they are just enough to give you a boast to leap forward. Magic occurs when you understand the importance of putting one foot in front of the other.
Now, it is upon you to decipher which actions are necessary for you to get closer to where you want to be, that is if realizing your utmost potential is what keeps you going.
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Do you have that one person you can go to whenever you’re in need of good counsel. I mean someone who doesn’t lead you astray, who only gives you nothing but the truth regardless of how it makes you feel for as long as they aren’t guilty of deceit.
This person is not afraid to break it down to you when you fail to see reason. They are always there to assign what’s right from wrong. Often your disputes are ignited when you’re unable to honor the truth that they stand by but you know that they always mean well. They are quite a gem and they deserve to be treated with such regard.
When we’re troubled we turn to our friends to rave and at the same time to get the best possible advice, right ?
However, can you discern good advice from bad advice ?
Sometimes the source of pleasure (lies) in which we find comfort is not the right one. The guidance we get sometimes from our friends lack objectivity. For instance the friend who fails to tell you the truth and would rather deceive you with lies to spare your feelings or whatever the reason may be.
Hurt me with the truth but never comfort me with a lie
Let me tell you as I recall all the times this had happened to me, I choke of the enormity of betrayal. I’ve always failed to understand the whole concept because no relationship is built on lies. Trusting someone means that honesty is the focal point of that relationship.
You could be thinking that it is okay sometimes to lie to make someone feel better – fair enough. But understand that as soon as they get to the solution of what was troubling them when they approached you, their vision would have been cleared and they will begin to question your character together with your relationship.
Deception is short lived and it never amounts to anything. Is it ever worth it to lie so you can protect someone’s feelings?
Would you rather live with a beautiful lie or face your ugly truth?
What kind of a friend are you, are you a gem?
You’re welcome to leave your comments down below.
The irony in this is that initially you’re so keen to know what’s behind their suspicious antics until you find out and that’s when you wish you never knew what you already know now.
This is especially true when you discover that your partner has been cheating on you. You’re never prepared for this kind of pain, it reaps you from the core.
You only wish he could save all that’s falling apart by convincing you once more that you’re his soulmate, whom he would give anything to spend the rest of his life with and actually mean it.
When we enter into relationships, we entrust our partners with our hearts. We let them close enough to witness us even at our worst because we think of them as different. So when they cross that line it is very devastating. Having gone through all of this myself, here are helpful lessons.
You might want to know the extent of his infidelity. If there’s any conscience left in him, he’ll know that he owes you that much. (Caution: prepare yourself for the BRUTAL truth) It definitely won’t be a pleasant one. (Sidenote: Is it not funny that we expect to gather truth where it was never met before?) How gullible, but then we go right ahead and give them the benefit of a doubt.
After the confession you don’t need him around to confuse you any further. Take time out, of cause you will keep your hands clean and won’t get even with him because you’re a lady like that. You’re only going to use this time to process everything and figure it out on your own. Can you really claim to know exactly what someone’s intentions are? Those are a mystery to us. Therefore, you might never get to the conclusion why they did it and it is okay.
Being cheated on is extremely painful and you’re going to go through the motions all at once. Allow yourself to feel and don’t block it out; cry and cry harder. You’ll feel better with every episode.
Don’t let it consume all your time, 24/7. Find distractions and do things that empower you as an individual. Self-empowerment is bound to make you feel good about yourself. I know that pain always prompts me to do even better. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked back after and said “but how did I do that?” and I genuinely believe had it not been for the trial, I never would have been able to make it.
Come to terms with your reality
You can’t be in denial forever. After you’ve had time to think in between working on yourself, exercising etc. It is time to decide what will be your next move. Are you going to pick up the pieces and mend things? Does he deserve another chance? Only you know your love story and can weigh in on it sufficiently. No one can make that decision for you.
Getting to the point where you’ll understand that you’ll have to forgive even before you endeavor into it is a process on its own. But you’ll have to forgive the betrayal, disappointment, pain, the person who caused your distress but most of all forgive yourself. It’s easy to blame yourself, DO NOT! You weren’t foolish for granting love a chance. Understand that his behavior was immature and it was only to satisfy his own selfish drives.
Parting ways with the person you love is not easy, it certainly leaves you folded.
You may grant someone a second chance but never accept cheating to be a norm. It is disrespectful!
I’m quite sure you’re tired of this one but I’ll give it to you once more. Even I grew tired of it but it doesn’t change it still remains. HEALING TAKES TIME! Be patient.
Love is beautiful with a partner who is worthy of it and I believe that you deserve the best of that love and it shall find you.❤️
NB: Noticed how I didn’t mention the other woman on here? It’s simple, you have no attachments with them whatsoever. The only person who owes you their integrity is the person you entered into a relationship with. Comparing, bashing and fighting the other woman won’t help you by no means.
She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself.
~ Anaïs Nin
Beautiful woman, yes you are.
You’re beautiful, embrace it.
You’re smart, make it known.
You’re successful, celebrate it.
Any affirmation that comes from anywhere else but yourself serves no purpose, honor yourself.
People’s approval shouldn’t recharge you in any way. Their validations are too fickle to sustain anyone.
A confident woman does not bargain on other people’s acceptance of her. She’s well aware of who she is, flaws and all.
You shouldn’t modify who you are to accommodate anyone. No, it shouldn’t be on your account that they feel good about themselves.
Distance yourself from people that instill doubt in you, discredit and pull you down. Insecurity resents being solo, it longs for warmth. Never allow it to tuck you in.
Confidence is something that we battle with one way or another. It does not come naturally but you can certainly gain it through living an authentic life; being unapologetically you.
Must you have people cheering you on to feel safe?
Are you content with who you are?